websites @ home
i arrived home two days ago. i always forget how much leisure time i allow myself until i see how hectic my parents lives are. caroline and i landed on tuesday evening and on the way back from the airport we were roped in to running errands. the following day we spent 6 hours in a car driving to michigan to pick up my sister. each day dinner would happen somewhere close to 10, bedtime would be between 12-1 and then id hear my mother up at 5am the next morning.
almost everyone fell asleep during the car ride to pick up my sister (myself included at one point) but it gave me time to let my thoughts wander and eventually they landed back on this website. i guess it’s been about 6-8 months, since the last redesign so of course i’m finding it a bit stale/it’s motivating factors contrived and maybe not representative of me/my work.
this past iteration took the form of a blog, a reference to tumblrs plain theme and a half hearted attempt to create a ‘social media’ page that felt ‘personal’.
i think the database is finally getting to a point where there will be far fewer additions as time passes. i think what’s still weighing on my mind is the purpose of occupying a solitary corner of the internet, and what the design a reflection of. at this point the primary purpose of the site seems to be storage and a resource for myself when opportunities present themselves, requiring me to build a pdf portfolio. eventually this should be automated, but i think getting to a point where the aesthetic stops changing so frequently or has programmable constraints will mark the beginning of that addition.
i can’t ignore the fact that this platform is public facing, and that makes the construction, aesthetic, and presentation of content performative. the empty audience gives me great pause, i hesitate because it feels as if this platform exists to prove something, in its most earnest form it is a presentation of a body of work that i’m very proud of.
in moments i cannot escape the former. i’m constantly overthinking the optics of listing projects, at times wanting to delete any public facing acknowledgment of my work, hoarding the artifacts left as they are completed. i’m more confused now than i have ever been about the ‘point’. i’m drawn to the celebratory aspects of the medium of personal websites, and to the costuming and performance associated. perhaps what has bothered me is the isolation in which this activity has been performed. i know it is not completely solitary but at the same time it has not led to any concrete interaction. what comes to mind is to add comment sections, but that seems antiquated and reactionary.
if u have any thoughts on this please feel free to write to me, id love to hear any thoughts u might have about your digital presence, and what it does for u.